if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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