Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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