you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
