im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
