Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
