VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
