: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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