therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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