I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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