he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
