I want to walk on stilts...naked
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
