tell your sister to shave her snatch
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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