Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize