Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
