i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize