Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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