i just google imaged poop.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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