I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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