That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize