It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
