I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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