I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
