This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
