My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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