dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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