I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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