My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
