Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
