just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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