thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
