Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
