Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
