i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize