I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
