I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
