I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
