Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
