hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think people are normalizing furries
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
