I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
