I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize