Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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