haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
