Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
