alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
