Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
