she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
