don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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