New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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