she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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