I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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