I need help removing her.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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