Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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