Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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I need you to use more vowels.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
