I just threw up on my dentist
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
