Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
