She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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