im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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