So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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