he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
