She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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