A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
